I started leading Life Groups yesterday which is a small group for youth. I have about seven, 7th and 8th graders in my group. I realized I have not been giving much lately to anyone other than Kate and so it felt really good to start mentoring these Junior Highers.
This morning's run was good - 4.8 miles in 37:57 which is just under 8 minute mile pace (about 7:55). My breathing is so much better than when I started - my lungs have grown a lot. Anything under 8 minute mile pace, your legs don't like you too much, but they're getting used to the feeling of hard work.
I don't have anything super deep to talk about today. So in other news, Kate and I are looking for a small house to rent here in Springfield, MO. Kate's been working on her photography, which I'm really excited about. She just took photos of my brother Scott, and they came out really well.
That's all I got for today - see ya tomorrow.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
23 Days Remaining
This morning I realized:
- I have used God's grace as an excuse for laziness.
- I've lost my perspective of what God's role in my life was.
- I grew up thinking God's role in my life was to coddle me through life's "hardships" and take away all pain. He is very capable of healing (I've seen it and felt it - emotion and physical healing). But to be the person He made me to become takes hard work. And I will go through pain striving for it.
- But no. God's role is not to spoil me. His role is to equip me with the resources, abilities, motivation and purpose to become who He created me to become. And yes, to love me when I fall - God's very good at that.
I've committed to not run slower than 8 minute mile pace. This morning I ran 3.7 miles in 27:09. That's about 7:20 pace. God is good.
Friday, September 17, 2010
24 Days Remaining: Round 2
I got up this morning and decided I want to run four miles. So I got on google maps and charted my course (as seen below). Just before I started running, I decided if I'm serious about running faster, I need to stop allowing myself to run slower than 8 minute mile pace. So that was my goal this morning - run 4 miles in under 32 minutes. I also decided not to look at my watch the whole run. I knew what a "faster than 8 minute mile" pace felt like, so I just had to keep that pace.
Looking at my watch to check my pace hardly ever helps me. If I'm faster than pace, I'll think, "Oooh, I'm ok. I can even slow down if I want or need to..." If I'm slower than pace, I'll think, "Ah. Dang, now I have to run faster to make my goal... meh, I don't think I can do it. I'm too far behind already."
When I focus on checking my pace all the time, I measure myself by what I've done so far. When I stop worrying about all the pace checking, I start measuring myself by what I'm going to do (run four miles in under 32 minutes).
Which made me realize: You are who you become.
You aren't who you are right now. You aren't who you want to become. You are who you become.
My time: 29 minutes. Thank you God. But without mitigating my accomplishment today, I need to wake tomorrow willing to grow more. Especially in fitness, if you're not growing, you're decaying.
View Larger Map
Looking at my watch to check my pace hardly ever helps me. If I'm faster than pace, I'll think, "Oooh, I'm ok. I can even slow down if I want or need to..." If I'm slower than pace, I'll think, "Ah. Dang, now I have to run faster to make my goal... meh, I don't think I can do it. I'm too far behind already."
When I focus on checking my pace all the time, I measure myself by what I've done so far. When I stop worrying about all the pace checking, I start measuring myself by what I'm going to do (run four miles in under 32 minutes).
Which made me realize: You are who you become.
You aren't who you are right now. You aren't who you want to become. You are who you become.
My time: 29 minutes. Thank you God. But without mitigating my accomplishment today, I need to wake tomorrow willing to grow more. Especially in fitness, if you're not growing, you're decaying.
View Larger Map
Thursday, September 16, 2010
25 Days Remaining: Round 2
I wanted to run without music this morning. Music really helps motivate me, but I wanted to battle my mind alone. And it was a battle. I ran a mile to warm up and challenged myself for a fast run - 2.4 miles hard. I wanted to battle my mind because I knew it would try to convince me out of running fast.
I have let my mind win this battle many times before. The first half of the run, it won - 1.2 miles in 9:21. On the way back I realized something huge.
How many times do we settle for less than greatness?
And how many times do we let our mind creatively figure out a way to justify our lack of effort?
Passing the halfway point, I wanted to kick that 9:21's butt and run faster the second half of the run. Gah! This is when my body started complaining too! My thighs were heavy, my lungs were tired, my feet were weak. Then I realized the second huge point.
Does your whole body know what greatness feels like - or just your mind?
I realized my body does not know what it feels like to be a great runner yet. My lungs, legs, and feet cannot say, "We've experienced the pain of growth and are we know what greatness feels like." And I kept asking myself that question: Do my legs know what greatness feels like yet? Do my feet know? Are my lungs familiar with the breaths of the last stages of a three mile sprint? No... not yet.
Most importantly - ask yourself this - Does your heart know what greatness feels like? Because I bet if you look deep enough, you can answer that question - our hearts know greatness when we see it or experience it. But the bigger question is this: Are you going to let your heart know what greatness feels like?
Letting myself feel greatness - and believe I can reach my full potential - is one thing I've definitely sacrificed. In fact, I have surrendered many things to God before - my worries, my stresses. But I know in surrendering worry and pain (meaning, letting God shoulder them so I don't have to) I've in turn surrendered my full potential.
Will God help you become the great man or woman He created you to be? Without question - He's always standing there when you're willing to call out for Him.
Will God hoist you up on a soft, cushioned chair and carry you to greatness? Maybe not so much.
So don't give up until your body, soul, and mind know greatness - then strive to become even greater.
Oh, and I DID kick that 9:21's butt - by a full minute.
I have let my mind win this battle many times before. The first half of the run, it won - 1.2 miles in 9:21. On the way back I realized something huge.
How many times do we settle for less than greatness?
And how many times do we let our mind creatively figure out a way to justify our lack of effort?
Passing the halfway point, I wanted to kick that 9:21's butt and run faster the second half of the run. Gah! This is when my body started complaining too! My thighs were heavy, my lungs were tired, my feet were weak. Then I realized the second huge point.
Does your whole body know what greatness feels like - or just your mind?
I realized my body does not know what it feels like to be a great runner yet. My lungs, legs, and feet cannot say, "We've experienced the pain of growth and are we know what greatness feels like." And I kept asking myself that question: Do my legs know what greatness feels like yet? Do my feet know? Are my lungs familiar with the breaths of the last stages of a three mile sprint? No... not yet.
Most importantly - ask yourself this - Does your heart know what greatness feels like? Because I bet if you look deep enough, you can answer that question - our hearts know greatness when we see it or experience it. But the bigger question is this: Are you going to let your heart know what greatness feels like?
Letting myself feel greatness - and believe I can reach my full potential - is one thing I've definitely sacrificed. In fact, I have surrendered many things to God before - my worries, my stresses. But I know in surrendering worry and pain (meaning, letting God shoulder them so I don't have to) I've in turn surrendered my full potential.
Will God help you become the great man or woman He created you to be? Without question - He's always standing there when you're willing to call out for Him.
Will God hoist you up on a soft, cushioned chair and carry you to greatness? Maybe not so much.
So don't give up until your body, soul, and mind know greatness - then strive to become even greater.
Oh, and I DID kick that 9:21's butt - by a full minute.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Still Running
Well, I'm sorry I didn't post earlier about my final run last Friday. The week of the run, I was a mess - I was so stressed and busy and honestly, I stopped posting because I wanted to take the lime light off me a little before I ran just in case I failed.
So, I didn't make the time. In fact, I'm pretty sure I ran one lap short of 3 miles. So it is what it is - failure, defeat, falling short, not meeting expectations - however you want to call it. But forget that. Put those words away because I was not a failure in the most important sense: I fell short, but I'm getting up.
I learned this past month how much I'm afraid of failure. It paralyzes me. I chose mediocrity and laziness because I was afraid of letting others down - afraid of them seeing me fail.
Letting fear control my actions, I sacrificed my full potential. Imagine who you would be if you actually did what you deeply desired to do!
Deep down, I feel everyone can find who they truly want to be. What's holding you back from being that person?
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS:
1. So I look at failure in a different way now. Failure (or whatever form "failure" takes for you) is simply a God-given insight to an area in your life where you can grow. Learning you have room to grow is not bad. It's not saying you're not good enough. It's saying, you can be more!
What a gift, to discover an area in your life where you can grow more to become the person of God you deeply desire to be!
2. Mentally, on my run this morning (2.85 miles in 21:24), I changed my normal focus, from making it to the finish line, to making the next couple of steps. I was encouraged every three steps that I kept the pace of three steps back. When I used to think of the entire journey, I would sometimes realize I had "too far" to go and "I can't make it". I can make it three steps - so keep taking steps!!
3. I hardly ever fulfilled "commitments" to myself before. Because, ultimately, what was the purpose? My purpose to commit before was this: "I'm supposed to commit to this, right? This is what everyone expects me to commit to, right?" See if you recognize some of these "commitments":
So, I didn't make the time. In fact, I'm pretty sure I ran one lap short of 3 miles. So it is what it is - failure, defeat, falling short, not meeting expectations - however you want to call it. But forget that. Put those words away because I was not a failure in the most important sense: I fell short, but I'm getting up.
I learned this past month how much I'm afraid of failure. It paralyzes me. I chose mediocrity and laziness because I was afraid of letting others down - afraid of them seeing me fail.
Letting fear control my actions, I sacrificed my full potential. Imagine who you would be if you actually did what you deeply desired to do!
Deep down, I feel everyone can find who they truly want to be. What's holding you back from being that person?
IMPORTANT THOUGHTS:
1. So I look at failure in a different way now. Failure (or whatever form "failure" takes for you) is simply a God-given insight to an area in your life where you can grow. Learning you have room to grow is not bad. It's not saying you're not good enough. It's saying, you can be more!
What a gift, to discover an area in your life where you can grow more to become the person of God you deeply desire to be!
2. Mentally, on my run this morning (2.85 miles in 21:24), I changed my normal focus, from making it to the finish line, to making the next couple of steps. I was encouraged every three steps that I kept the pace of three steps back. When I used to think of the entire journey, I would sometimes realize I had "too far" to go and "I can't make it". I can make it three steps - so keep taking steps!!
3. I hardly ever fulfilled "commitments" to myself before. Because, ultimately, what was the purpose? My purpose to commit before was this: "I'm supposed to commit to this, right? This is what everyone expects me to commit to, right?" See if you recognize some of these "commitments":
- I commit to running more
- I commit to read my Bible more
- I commit to praying more
- I commit to calling my friends more
I was trying to commit these because it was what "I was supposed to do" - or what I chose to hear from society. And anytime I wrote one of these commitments down and taped it to my mirror, it was a burden, a weight, more "work", less time, less energy, less money. But I've changed my purpose in commitments.
My purpose behind commitments now is this: I know this commitment will help me become the person I want to be. And now a list of 50 commitments does not make me feel tired and depressed - just the opposite in fact! It makes me excited that I am on my way to becoming the person I deeply desire to be!
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